Oh No I Dint!

Have been trying to catch up with Girlfriend A for months. She's just always busy, doesn't have time etc. But we persevered and finally got together last Friday. She made it sound like she didn't have a lot of time, and actually pushed back our meeting time, but then we ended up talking for an hour and a half and I actually had to sort of run out on her to make it to a movie on time.

A is a strange one - a very private person. That's fine, not everyone has to have diareah of the mouth like me. I respect her privacy. But as the conversation unfolded, it all began to make sense. There was a reason we hadn't been able to get together ... she thought I'd done something I didn't do and consciously or not, she had been holding it against me.

Six years ago I'd had a brief encounter with The Photographer. It was something I'd told her about two years ago when she began to have an affair with this person. The encounter went something like this ...

I went out for a few drinks with a girlfriend, and by the end of the night I'd had three glasses of wine, two White Russians, and innumerable shots of Captain Morgan. I brought home a man who I barely know and we ended up in bed. He was a perfect gentleman and nothing happened. I was drunk (which I didn't even realize until the hangover hit me the next morning) and I'm not sure if I said something or sent signals that I might not have sent if I was sober. I mean, we were in bed together. We kissed. I snored. He felt my breasts.

I told her about this as soon as I knew they were seeing each other. I told her nothing had happened between us and that I was glad of that - that I wasn't interested in him in that way. And besides, I began seeing The Man a few months after that and I've been with him ever since.

Well, except for that brief period when we broke up in 2009. Turns out The Photographer played her but good. Strung her along, let her get caught up in him and then dumped her unceremoniously. But I didn't know anything about this because she was all private and not wanting to talk about anything. So she sits at home and thinks up wild scenarios. Like I was with him when The Man and I broke up.

Are you kidding me? She's been thinking I screwed her man for close to a year now and never said a word. So she finally asks me and I tell her absolutely not but there's a bit of a smile on my face because it's so far from reality that I can't even believe she's asking me. So I hope she believed me because it was the truth and it sounds like this jerk is just not worth her energy.

But she thought it was possible because I'd also told her about The Politician. Because any woman like me who would allow an engaged man to hit on her would probably also bang her girlfriend's boyfriend.

Oh, wait - I did do that. Affair # 2. Okay, so maybe A had reason to worry. But I didn't do it!